help! i’m stuck and i cant get out

that emotionally painful feeling you get when you no longer feel comfortable in your comfort zone (oh the irony). the moment you realize nothing’s going right and you’re not in the situation you want to be in. when all you can say to yourself is ‘this is not what it’s supposed to be like’. f*ck- i mean stuck! i know that feeling. it sucks but good news! it doesn’t have to be this way and yes, there’s a way out!

for me (as i expect for many of you as well) this feeling was realized thru my job. i was on auto-pilot: wake up, dread the day to come, go to work, drag myself thru the workday, come home, go to sleep (not really), then do it all again. the ‘Sunday blues’ got 1,000,000 x’s worse all while my mood was becoming more and more irritable. it was all good (again, not really) until shit really started to hit the fan at the office and there was A LOT of shit.

but this epic fecal atomic bomb didn’t just impact my work life, but also personally and in every other aspect of life as well. it had spread faster than a fat man’s chopsticks eating ramen (just as sloppy, too).

my first reaction was to, again, find comfort in this situation. i kept trying to find shortcuts or quick fixes to remediate my problems, looking for any way to solve my issues as fast and as painless as possible. but this wouldn’t suffice. i mean sure, there were certain conflicts i was able to resolve using this method but it was anything but permanent.

so i went out to search for my escape. just like my complications with sleep, i started with reading short articles relating to my struggles which lead me to doing further, more thorough research on the matter. reading books (to everyone’s surprise) and listening to podcasts. every free, waking moment i had was dedicated to ‘getting out’. no procrastination here. i mean, if you know you’re not in a good situation or at least the situation that you’d like to be in, would you be able to enjoy life? i couldn’t. so there was no other option.

thru my investigation, i stumbled across many resourceful, ingenious information which has helped me not only with taking that first step out but also every step after, going forward. using this insight, i’ve put together some general tips which could be utilized as a guide (or the kick in the a**) you’ve been looking for, to finally take control and take back your life. let the journey begin..

where am i?

look no further than here. right here, right now- that’s all that matters. your journey begins where you stand and the direction is forward. the past is not necessary in this step but it may be used as reference to understanding your habits and where your enjoyment (or lack there of) resides. think of everything in relation to now. anything else would result in dread or anxiety, not to mention a waste of time, since you can only take control of what’s in the present moment.

what’s the purpose?

the most common question i kept asking myself. contemplating this question itself always lead me to feeling even more stuck than before the thought. yes, you can set about a journey to finding your ‘purpose’ but there is no one purpose to strive towards. essentially, as long as you have the time, you can pursue many diverse options throughout your lifetime as we are not tied to any one thing or purpose. in effect, it’s not necessarily about finding a purpose but creating a purpose of your own. this comes from understanding your ‘self’ first and figuring out what really gets you out of bed in the morning. what’s your reason for being alive? what do you live for?

how do i get there?

this is the fun part where you take your ‘purpose’ and use it as a beacon or as the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. that is your destination. but this destination should never be reached nor realized; only transcended. it is your guide thru life, making sense of everything you do along the way as you ask yourself before performing any act ‘will doing this bring me closer to reaching my destination/purpose’. you will soon think of your life as a map with your purpose being the destination and every act along the way a road or pathway on the way there. only then will you be able to evaluate everything you do as meaningful.

what’s wrong?

take this time to think about all that’s bothering you. why are these things such an issue? can anything be done to immediately ‘solve’ this problem? analyze anything conflicting with your peace of mind and ask yourself if you can do something about it. if you can’t then a change in perception is a must. you must learn to accept that which you cannot change and willing to change that which you cannot accept, if it can in fact be altered. once you figure that out, take action!

what’s right?

now think about the good times.

think about all the times you’re out playing basketball or when you’re singing your a** off to Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange or when you’re simply doing hot yoga (i’m definitely not talking about myself). how did you feel just doing these activities? and i’m not asking how it felt in the aftermath of it but while you were doing them. do you feel accomplished? do you feel refreshed as if you stepped out the fountain of youth? do you feel like you somehow grew in complexity and feel like you’ve obtained superpowers? pay attention and keep track of any activity which brings these feelings to light. be careful, however. some activities such as gambling and doing illicit drugs may result in the evoking of these emotions but only on a temporary level and with no real value to one’s self. in essence, analyze all the activities listed and judge them by whether or not any of these are harmful to anyone (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) including yourself, purge those activities from the list and keep the others for reference to understanding what kind of things provide enjoyment.

bringing it all together

now that you are aware of what you hate/love doing, where you’re going, what you need to do, how and when you need to do it (now), it’s all about taking action. acquiring knowledge is great and all but without acting on them, they are as good as an unwritten book. so now’s the time to write that story and fill that book (aka your life) to the point where there are no blank pages (aka no what if’s). everything is as it as and as it should be. go and start your journey. i’m excited to see you continue to fail and fail forward to the point where nothing stops you from the pursuit of your purpose(s). stuck is for schmucks.


if you have any questions, please feel free to ask away in the below comment section. also, if this article has been helpful, you can also comment and share with those like us πŸ™‚

night night: sleep tips from a former [full-time] insomniac

so the beginning of this journey for me all began when i couldn’t do one of the only things we’re fundamentally programmed to do (*Spoiler Alert*: sleep). i just couldn’t do it. my sleep button was broken and i didn’t know how to fix it 😦 . i tried everything. i mean EVERYTHING. or at least i think i did. i tried melatonin, eating cherries, drinking chamomile tea; i even tried playing solitaire (why though?). nothing really worked. each individually might have helped me one day or more but none consistently worked nor provided that deep, quality sleep either, even when used in combination with each other.

yes, i did go to a sleep doctor. he suggested i document every night into a series of worksheets known as a ‘sleep log’. so i did. however, during this time i had taken up running at night and this seemed to be my ‘cure’. in essence, when i followed up with my doctor i came back with logs showing how i slept every night since last seeing him.

(so then why are you complaining about sleep?)

AHAH! you have asked the right question! well let me tell you a little story… i tore my meniscus- THE END! so no more long distance running for me. maybe i gave up the idea too soon but the soreness i experienced in that very knee after any type of endurance training was pretty intense and doing it every night didn’t sound like a good idea to me. so there- back to the program…

i probably should’ve went back to the sleep doctor but i was so discouraged that i just decided to keep trying to figure this thing out on my own.

i started using Flipboard and one of my main topics of interest, if not THE main topic, was sleep. any and every article that was sleep focused or related, it was read and saved (you should see my magazine). in saying that, i stumbled across a shitload of articles (and shit) that claimed to have the ‘answers’. Titles like ’10 Steps to a Perfect Night’s Sleep’ and ‘Scientifically backed ways to sleep in minutes!’ I ran with all of these and grouped together the most useful tips that should help anyone looking to get a great night’s rest tonight and moving forward, from the start of your day to the moment you crash.

so here they are..

stick to the program

wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, including weekends. all week, month, and year long (yes, this includes vacations). if you choose to stay up a little later than normal on a given night, i wouldn’t go past 2 hours passed your routine bedtime. same concept applies for waking up. so no over sleeping you bums!

get out of bed

when you wake up in the morning, doesn’t it feel so relaxing to just stay in bed a few extra minutes (even hours) and dread the day to come? NO! get tf outta bed and start your day! take your finger off the snooze button and get up. staying in bed longer when not sleeping (or having sex) will impact your ability to sleep ‘on demand’ whenever you hit the bed at the end of a long day. plus, the longer you take, the harder it’ll be to get up. so move it!

exercise

no- i don’t mean going to the gym to take selfies and post it up on your Instagram Stories. i mean actually taking the time out, about an hour a day, to really work those muscles and release some steam. go ahead, go apeshit on a heavy bag or kick the crap outta that soccer ball for all i care- just be active.

stay away from sugar and caffeine

this is pretty much self explanatory and shouldn’t even be mentioned but there’s no such thing as ‘common sense’, so here you go. if you absolutely ‘need’ caffeine to keep you from being Irritable Irene, i’d suggest consuming it before 2pm. after that, you’re risking an all-nighter (guess you didn’t get enough of that in college huh?).

get you some good [vitamin] D

go outside and get yourself a good 10-30 min of sun light, with appropriate protection from the sun’s ultraviolet rays. you can also take vitamin D3 supplements if you can’t make it outside. so go on, put that UV condom on and flex that ‘summer bod’.

dinner is served

make sure your last meal is consumed no later than 2 hours before bedtime, same applies for drinks (yes, even water). this is especially true if you wanna keep that summer bod tight, Doug.

prep for tomorrow

before you start winding down to call it a night, get ready for tomorrow. you can do this by ironing your work clothes, meal prepping, whatever you can do to take tasks away and simplify your morning. it’s already difficult enough to get out of bed. don’t make it harder πŸ˜‰

Xbox [dis]Kinect

stay away from your cell, PS4, computer. like farrr awayyy. anything electronic that requires your attention- no. the blue light affect alone will impact your ability to go to sleep. so power down within 2 hours of sleepy time. pretend it has cooties or something. don’t even touch it.

clear the cache

the first step i make sure to take before i getting in bed is this one. get all that kaka out your head- whether it be from taking a walk, writing things down in a journal, reading or meditating, or all the above, NIKE (Just Do It)!

lights out

make sure your room is completely dark or as dark as possible (think Wesley Snipes in Blade). use blackout curtains, drapes, magic; whatever you have to do to so you are unable to see any type of light when you’re in bed. if you cant control your environment’s lighting, try using an eye mask.

no Dwight, this isn’t an eye mask

cool down

make sure your room, or wherever you sleep, is cooled down, not a sauna. a range from 62Β°-67Β° should do just fine. now, just lay back and chill πŸ™‚ .

live your life

this is a personal tip of my own and more general but a significant one, nonetheless, that deserves mentioning. following the tips above will definitely improve your ability to fall asleep as well as getting the best, quality sleep but these alone (or in combination) are not enough. ‘whatever helps you sleep at night’ is not just a phrase used by one person in response to another’s description of an idea or actionable activity which satisfies their perception of a given situation but it is also a truth. this truth touches the idea of you doing something or coming up with a ‘solution’ to resolve a conflict or some type of hurdle in your life. we all have issues to deal with and knowing this can be paralyzing, especially when no action is taken. so go ahead. target those problems and do ‘whatever helps you sleep at night’, cause there’s a good chance that’s what’s keeping you up to begin with.


if you have any questions, please feel free to ask away in the below comment section. also, if this article has been helpful, you can also comment and share with those like us πŸ™‚

intro: it’s a me!

i don’t know how to write this… i don’t know what i’m doing… but that’s why i’m here, or at least what lead me here. a few months ago i was stressed out of my mind: demanding job, my first serious relationship, insomnia and no direction (not even One). i didn’t even know where to begin, just as i feel now about writing this blog. but i did. the journey was set forth.

my name is Emilio, by the way, and welcome to my blog. for those of you who are lost, welcome aboard this ship which never stops and is heading to anywhere, everywhere, and nowhere. our destination is a place of everlasting change, a voyage i never thought to take part in but is inevitable in this abstract process we call ‘life’.

who i was or thought i was was far from the truth. understanding this idea is what lead me to discovering the place of the ‘known’ (as opposed to the unknown). this was the land of familiarity, home of confidence, zone of the comfort. a place known for its complacency and conformity, where one thinks he is moving forward but is, in fact, standing still (and in some cases, moving backwards). this place which i was so accustomed to living in was where my ‘stuck-ness’ resided (no sh*t).

it was a small, narrow tunnel, or at least to me it seemed that way. i felt like i couldn’t breath and was in too deep- the ‘sunken place’. oddly, i had always been there (or should i say ‘here’) but it was getting darker and darker, i needed a way out, a ladder of some sort. so i climbed and elevated thru the literature which i seemed to condemn in my previous time of existence. but if there were ever a time to disregard the past, ‘the time is now my child‘ (*Ab-Soul voice*). there is no other ‘time’ or instance anyways, so f*ck it.

this elevation did not come without effort, however. countless hours and research has been, and continue to be, done on the climb up and out. not only did this newly accrued knowledge guide me thru but has also kept me afloat from falling back in. ‘I know that I know nothing’ as Plato says it best. this saying alone is the fundamental idea which pushes me to explore the unknown and continue to grow and learn, which is the only way out and to stay out.

‘Sunken Place’ from Get Out (2017)

so this is where i’m at now: continuing these positive habits which have freed me from my own tyranny which i placed upon myself, thru the influence of others (where my influencers at?). i still don’t have it mapped out, yet, but i do know what is not the way, which is where i have gone before, the past. persistence and consistence are the keys to obtaining this order of consciousness and avoiding that dreadful past.

the mission of this blog is to help those just as lost as i was (or still am). for those that want to reach and realEYES their potential. for those that want to escape the shackles society has placed on us and want to live freely among ourselves. for those that just want to be aware and become more knowledgeable of our very existence. to unlearn the ‘miseducation’ we’ve been stressed to integrate into our lives and, in essence, to live. and to just live a f*cking great life while improving the lives of others.

thru my ‘failures’ (dique ‘failures‘) and my random studies and reading, i will be passing on some knowledge to thou, for free.99. a piece of my mind for your attention, fair trade right? it’ll be terribly fun. just be here now and forever. and i don’t mean specifically this site, but it would be dope if you stick around.