help! i’m stuck and i cant get out

that emotionally painful feeling you get when you no longer feel comfortable in your comfort zone (oh the irony). the moment you realize nothing’s going right and you’re not in the situation you want to be in. when all you can say to yourself is ‘this is not what it’s supposed to be like’. f*ck- i mean stuck! i know that feeling. it sucks but good news! it doesn’t have to be this way and yes, there’s a way out!

for me (as i expect for many of you as well) this feeling was realized thru my job. i was on auto-pilot: wake up, dread the day to come, go to work, drag myself thru the workday, come home, go to sleep (not really), then do it all again. the ‘Sunday blues’ got 1,000,000 x’s worse all while my mood was becoming more and more irritable. it was all good (again, not really) until shit really started to hit the fan at the office and there was A LOT of shit.

but this epic fecal atomic bomb didn’t just impact my work life, but also personally and in every other aspect of life as well. it had spread faster than a fat man’s chopsticks eating ramen (just as sloppy, too).

my first reaction was to, again, find comfort in this situation. i kept trying to find shortcuts or quick fixes to remediate my problems, looking for any way to solve my issues as fast and as painless as possible. but this wouldn’t suffice. i mean sure, there were certain conflicts i was able to resolve using this method but it was anything but permanent.

so i went out to search for my escape. just like my complications with sleep, i started with reading short articles relating to my struggles which lead me to doing further, more thorough research on the matter. reading books (to everyone’s surprise) and listening to podcasts. every free, waking moment i had was dedicated to ‘getting out’. no procrastination here. i mean, if you know you’re not in a good situation or at least the situation that you’d like to be in, would you be able to enjoy life? i couldn’t. so there was no other option.

thru my investigation, i stumbled across many resourceful, ingenious information which has helped me not only with taking that first step out but also every step after, going forward. using this insight, i’ve put together some general tips which could be utilized as a guide (or the kick in the a**) you’ve been looking for, to finally take control and take back your life. let the journey begin..

where am i?

look no further than here. right here, right now- that’s all that matters. your journey begins where you stand and the direction is forward. the past is not necessary in this step but it may be used as reference to understanding your habits and where your enjoyment (or lack there of) resides. think of everything in relation to now. anything else would result in dread or anxiety, not to mention a waste of time, since you can only take control of what’s in the present moment.

what’s the purpose?

the most common question i kept asking myself. contemplating this question itself always lead me to feeling even more stuck than before the thought. yes, you can set about a journey to finding your ‘purpose’ but there is no one purpose to strive towards. essentially, as long as you have the time, you can pursue many diverse options throughout your lifetime as we are not tied to any one thing or purpose. in effect, it’s not necessarily about finding a purpose but creating a purpose of your own. this comes from understanding your ‘self’ first and figuring out what really gets you out of bed in the morning. what’s your reason for being alive? what do you live for?

how do i get there?

this is the fun part where you take your ‘purpose’ and use it as a beacon or as the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. that is your destination. but this destination should never be reached nor realized; only transcended. it is your guide thru life, making sense of everything you do along the way as you ask yourself before performing any act ‘will doing this bring me closer to reaching my destination/purpose’. you will soon think of your life as a map with your purpose being the destination and every act along the way a road or pathway on the way there. only then will you be able to evaluate everything you do as meaningful.

what’s wrong?

take this time to think about all that’s bothering you. why are these things such an issue? can anything be done to immediately ‘solve’ this problem? analyze anything conflicting with your peace of mind and ask yourself if you can do something about it. if you can’t then a change in perception is a must. you must learn to accept that which you cannot change and willing to change that which you cannot accept, if it can in fact be altered. once you figure that out, take action!

what’s right?

now think about the good times.

think about all the times you’re out playing basketball or when you’re singing your a** off to Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange or when you’re simply doing hot yoga (i’m definitely not talking about myself). how did you feel just doing these activities? and i’m not asking how it felt in the aftermath of it but while you were doing them. do you feel accomplished? do you feel refreshed as if you stepped out the fountain of youth? do you feel like you somehow grew in complexity and feel like you’ve obtained superpowers? pay attention and keep track of any activity which brings these feelings to light. be careful, however. some activities such as gambling and doing illicit drugs may result in the evoking of these emotions but only on a temporary level and with no real value to one’s self. in essence, analyze all the activities listed and judge them by whether or not any of these are harmful to anyone (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) including yourself, purge those activities from the list and keep the others for reference to understanding what kind of things provide enjoyment.

bringing it all together

now that you are aware of what you hate/love doing, where you’re going, what you need to do, how and when you need to do it (now), it’s all about taking action. acquiring knowledge is great and all but without acting on them, they are as good as an unwritten book. so now’s the time to write that story and fill that book (aka your life) to the point where there are no blank pages (aka no what if’s). everything is as it as and as it should be. go and start your journey. i’m excited to see you continue to fail and fail forward to the point where nothing stops you from the pursuit of your purpose(s). stuck is for schmucks.


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