As I sit here..

disclaimer: this is me just running through my energy in motion

i live to strive towards something. that something which I call my purpose. I move only in one direction: forward. or so I think. i’m in pursuit of something. something inexistent, non-physical, indescribable. I know what it is but it is as if I’m chasing after a ghost which has never appeared.

everyday, i get closer and closer but yet further and further away. push and pull. progress and self-doubt. i know what im striving towards but yet i dont. like an unfamiliar family member. i know you but yet i dont.

i wish someone can let me know or guide me but it is only i who can truly provide a compass.

i have faith but yet i dont. the news doesnt help and facts only provide insurance for what ‘is’ but not about what hasn’t been.

it is only i who can create but i am afraid of destruction. how can i take risks with such at stake? good vs evil but who knows the difference? who is to judge?

i just wanna know but i know there is no definitive truth. let me live…